hey, hey, hey, hey, hi, hii, hellooo!. hi[;

oh. my. heck!
i just had 48 oz of Dr. Pepper. 
and lunch with my boyy.
i just have sooo much energy[: [:
alsoo, i love you[: 
aanndd, if you haven't ever had Gandolfo's.
please go.
do your taste buds a favor and go to gandy's and eat of the deliciousness.
please.
go now.
just do it.
go.




aannyywwaayyss, guess what[:
guess!
i said guess!!!
oh, well, i guess i'll just have to tell you[:
today, August 27, 2011, is the 4 month anniversary of my favoritest day ever.
on May 27, Roy asked me to be his girlfriend.
so, today, August 27th, is our 4 month anniversary[:
ilovehimsooomuch.
thee end[:


that was my random post of the day.
i'm going to get ready for the day now.
i love you all, but Roy the mostest.


p.s. go to youtube. type in "nom nom nom nom babies". watch it. giggle. a lot. thee end.

frustration

ummm, hello.
it's 9:30 on the 2nd day of school.
and i barely finished my homework.
yes, i started WHEN i got home. 
didn't even eat breakfast.
that is 5 1/2 hours of homework. 
thank you maeser...

senior year

day number 1.
and i already hate it.


guess what.
it's my birthday.
yay right?
no. 
highlight of my day?
tucanos.
with my grandparents.
not-so-great-parts-of-my-day?
getting ditched by my boyfriend for most of the day ((not your fault baby, iknow, i know, i've heard it all before)) ((i really hope he doesn't read this..... )) ((i'm just ranting, i don't really mean it...))
school. 'nuff said.
having a panic attack in the girl's bathroom. always fun.
getting bitch slapped by this girl i once knew. what'er.
falling down the stairs. crutches are a distinct possibility in my future.
hitting my elbow obnoxiously hard on my way to take a shower. wonderful.
throwing up all the delicious food i ate at tucanos. it was not as good the second time... 
crying. more crying. lots of crying. yayy...


so, as you may or may not be able to see, the bad things of the day outweigh the good things.
and not to say this was the worst day ever or something, cause it wasn't.
i've had much worse. much, much worse.
it just sucked. 
and i kind of wish my birthday was better...
but that's okay. 
tomorrow will be better. 
don't you even worry. 

hi, i'm meghan

new blog look.
new blog title.
new meghan.


hi, i'm meghan, and, you have stumbled across my blog! congrats!
i hope you enjoy it as much as i do.
i find myself sitting here and wondering, why do i blog anyways? 
why do i put myself out to the world like this?
why?
let me tell you.
i have something to say.
i want to change people.
and if, through this blog, i change at least one persons thoughts,
actions,
beliefs,
make one person more tolerant,
or show one person the value of life,
then i've succeeded.
i've conquered my biggest want in life.
so, let me tell you a little about me.
i'm meghan.
i'm 16, ALMOST 17!![:
i'm an inspirational speaker for RAINN, the Rape and Incest National Network.
i was raped for the first time when i was 14, and have been raped 2 times since then.
i teach girls just like me the value in protecting themselves.
i also do workshops for the Dove foundation about positive body image and the role of media in young girls lives.
i love helping people.
when i get older, cause lets face it, i'll never grow up:], i want to be a psychiatrist for the criminally insane.
i am completely and madly in love with Roy Leon Beltran, my best friend and hero.
i love my life, and everyone in it.
and, most importantly, i hope that, through my example, you can learn that even the most common, normal person can do great things. 
that you, one person out of billions can change lives.
and that, with a little hard work, anyone can make a difference[:

i don't know.

i am just so full of emotions right now.
i can't even tell you. 
i try.
i try telling people how i feel.
but it doesn't come out right.
ever.
am i okay?
nope.
what's wrong?
i don't know.

picture time!

so, you remember the other day when i said maddie and i went to partyland.
and took pictures.
well, here, for your enjoyment, are those pictures[:
teeheehee ilovemaddielaw.
and we're super attractive. 
don't you even worry.

we're babes. from different time periods[:

we are the sultans. fear us.

rawr. cause we are obviously a little
gnarly in this picture[:

i'mma beat you fool!

get your ass back across the boarder nigger!

just a quick post

hey everyone![:
just here to say that i probably won't be posting much in the next few days.
i'm celebrating my last week of being 16 by being crazy.
fun.
spontaneous.
just livin' life[:
woot. haha
oh! and there's only 9 days until my birthday!!![:
ilovemylife[:


so yes.
everyone enjoy your next couple weeks and i'll hopefully check in soon!ish![: 
well, i'm off to hang with my boyy and my bestie. 
hugs! 

sigh. good day.

oh my.
today has been a good day.
lindon days carnival with my bestie maddie.
hangin' out with my maeser peeps. [[haven't seen them all summer]]
free watermelon and water bottle.
ditchin'.
annoying roy at gandys.
maddie's first experience of an urban cowboy. yum.
partyland adventures.
hanging with my adorable cousins.
haircut.
burning pizza.
roy<3
maddie tryin' to start some fights.
soda-ing. 
maddie's house.
"i look like i just gave birth" "i look like i just got back from tokyo"
holdin' hands in the car. yeah boy.
best.day.ever.
ilovemylife[:

boys are silly sometimes

this is, no joke, an actual conversation i had in walmart about an hour ago.


"hey good looking" - some guy shopping with his friend. fishy.
"hi" - me.
"can i have a piece of the most good looking girl i've ever seen?" - guy.
"don't flatter yourself" - me. 
i begin to walk away.
"bitch! do you know who i am?" - guy, running after me. desperate.
"ummm, nope." - me. i turn around, and he runs into my elbow.
bloody nose.
starts trying to punch me.
i kick him. where it hurts. it was self defense. i promise.
"idiot" - me. walks away.


i hate boys sometimes. 
thee end.

i bleed my heart out on this paper

alright.
i have a serious problem with expression.
i basically, out loud, have no idea how to do so.
it's a bit of a problem.


but, i know how to express my feelings.
i write them. 
so, here's the thing.
i love him.
never before have i felt this feeling.
and you are worried because i'm so young.
so attached at 16.
and i know.
it's not normal.
it doesn't happen often.
but sometimes, it does.
sometimes, everything works out,
albeit earlier than most,
but still. 
it happens.
i love roy beltran
and nothing anyone can say or do will change that.
ever.

you've got so much love in you

sigh.
last night was great.
wonderful even.
we were standing in front of Roy's house.
((i was dropping him off, cause his car died))
and we were hugging and having the hardest time saying goodbye,
like we usually do,
and i just looked at him,
and something clicked.
this is what love is.
this, right here, is what it is.
it's me feeling more comfortable in his arms than anywhere else in the world.
it's in the way he looks at me and tells me my eyes sparkle, even at night.
it's how saying goodbye is the hardest thing to do, even though i know i'll see him tomorrow.
it's the way i can tell him anything, and i know he won't think any less of me.
it's how we can say goodbye to our childhoods together, even though they don't overlap at all.
it's how we can have so much fun doing the stupidest of things.
it's how i'm so comfortable around him and how he holds my hand when he's driving.
it's how he holds my body into his chest when i cry, and tells me i'm beautiful, even though there's makeup running down my face.
it's how he doesn't care if i do my hair or makeup and thinks i look just as good in sweats as i do in jeans.
it's how we can spend 14 hours together, but it's still not enough.
it's how he can do the weirdest things, and i can't help but think it's adorable, and vice versa.
it's how we can't lie to each other.
it's how he never stops reminding me that i'm beautiful, even though i deny it every time.
it's how, when i picture the rest of my life, i can't view one scenario where he is not there. 
i love you roy beltran.
more today than yesterday,
and forever and ever. 
please never forget.

i wrote you a poem

are you ready?
you're sure?
okay.
here goes.


roses are red,
violets are blue,
some poems rhyme,
this one doesn't.


bahaha! have a great day everyone[:

i'm cool

sometimes, i miss school. 
so i wear my school skirt[:
it's a win.

sigh...

i hate making people unhappy.
but sometimes, by making me happy, i make others unhappy.
it's quite the predicament.
and i don't like it.
but i learned a long time ago that i had to make me happy before i could make anyone else happy.
so, sorry to those who, by my decisions, are made unhappy.
but i have to make me happy.
you had your chance, now it's mine.
please don't ruin this for me.
i love him.
with all my heart.
no over-exaggeration, no lies.
i just simply love him.
everything about him.
and i'm sorry if you do too.
but i've given up on love too many times to let this one slip through my hands.
so, i'm sorry.
but it's my turn to be the princess.
you had your chance,
and now it's mine.

meghan is grumpy

sigh. 
life has been hard.
between kidney infections.
pain.
stomach issues.
stresses about bodily malfunctions.
drama.
girls trying to steal my boyfriend.
ex-boyfriends trying to get me back.
*not happening to any of you reading this*
spilling my whole life story out to a bunch of people.
dealing with the consequences of other people's decisions.
coming home from girl's camp early.
wanting to punch some people in the face.
it's just been a rough week or two. to say the least.
and yes.
i have learned something.
you just gotta go with it.
i only make myself more sick by worrying about all this other stuff.
i love my boyfriend, and i trust that he won't hurt me.
i love my God, and i trust that He won't put me through more than i can handle.
i love the people around me, and, because of that, i deal with their drama.
i love my life, because i know that, even when things get hard, they always seem to straighten out in the end. and me worrying about it doesn't speed up the process or anything. 
just makes me miserable. 

breathe

well, as you know, i was supposed to be at girl's camp until saturday.
i am not at girl's camp.
today=hell. 
no, today was like worse than something straight from hell.
it's like...
hell on steroids was today.
i just want to see my boyfriend.
i just want to be at girl's camp.
i just want to NOT be sick.
i just want to have a normal body.
i just want to die....

hell. beware all ye who enter.

i watched a movie once where it followed 3 people,
and their own person hells.
one girl, fire.
the other, ice.
the guy, water.
my own personal hell?
girl's camp.
70+ girls for 5 days...
ummm, what could be worse?
like... really?
forced merriment.
crafts out our freakin' noses.
no showers.
hairy legs.
dirt.
camping.
it's seriously hell on earth. 
not gonna lie.