happy. be it. live it. love it.

you marry a role and you give up your soul til you break down

i had an epiphany recently.

i'm not happy.

and i figured out why.

life is good. great, actually. and so if whatever you're doing isn't making you happy, then, logically, you try something different.

so i have been.

you see, i have this religion. a religion that my parents believe and that was totally great and wonderful for me for a while. i needed that structure, and i needed that guidance for a while.

but i can't do it anymore..

so i decided to make me happy.

i stopped caring about all the crap i couldn't do. i stopped worrying about all the rules i had to follow. and i worked on my relationship with God.

and i can honestly say i've never been closer to Him. i've never relied on Him so much.

and i've never been more happy...

let me tell you a story.

i've done a lot of crap in my 16 years.

done things that i'm not proud of.

i've made a lot of stupid decisions, that i'm not ashamed of, because they have made me who i am today, but that weren't great choices. and they made me happy. for a little while.

but i always was happy for a little while.

but it was never as long as i would like.....

but, i can honestly tell you, right now, i've never been happier. i've never known more clearly who i am, or where i am going in my life as i do right now.

i'm happy.

and that's all that should matter, huh?