i hate being a teenager and i hate high school. and i hate boys. the end.
but i'm taking my anger out of the stock market. and i'm going to kick ass. the end.
love, meghan
i believe in love. i believe in second chances and silly bands and making myself happy, because no one else ever will.
Monday, April 16, 2012
Sunday, April 15, 2012
bible emergency numbers:
when in sorrow: John 14.
when men fail you: Psalm 27.
when you have sinned: Psalm 51.
when you worry: Matthew 6:19-34.
when you are in danger: Psalm 91.
when God seems far away: Psalm 139.
when your faith needs stirring: Hebrew 11.
when you are lonely and fearful: Psalm 23.
when you grow bitter and critical: 1 Corinthians 13.
when you feel down and out: Romans 8:31-39.
when you want peace and rest: Matthew 11:25-30.
when the world seems bigger than God: Psalm 90.
when you want Christian assurance: Romans 8:1-30.
when you leave home for labor or travel: Psalms 121.
when you prayers grow narrow or selfish: Psalms 67.
when you want courage for a task: Joshua 1.
when you think of investments/returns: Mark 10.
how to get along with fellowmen: Romans 12.
for great invention/opportunity: Isaiah 55.
for Paul's secret to happiness: Colossians 3:12-17.
for the idea of Christianity: 1 Corinthians 5:15-19.
if you are depressed: Psalms 27.
if you want to be fruitful: John 15.
if your pocketbook is empty: Psalm 37.
if you're losing your confidence in people: 1 Corinthians 13.
if people seem unkind: John 15.
if you're discouraged about your work: Psalm 126.
if you find the world growing small and you great: Psalm 19.
when men fail you: Psalm 27.
when you have sinned: Psalm 51.
when you worry: Matthew 6:19-34.
when you are in danger: Psalm 91.
when God seems far away: Psalm 139.
when your faith needs stirring: Hebrew 11.
when you are lonely and fearful: Psalm 23.
when you grow bitter and critical: 1 Corinthians 13.
when you feel down and out: Romans 8:31-39.
when you want peace and rest: Matthew 11:25-30.
when the world seems bigger than God: Psalm 90.
when you want Christian assurance: Romans 8:1-30.
when you leave home for labor or travel: Psalms 121.
when you prayers grow narrow or selfish: Psalms 67.
when you want courage for a task: Joshua 1.
when you think of investments/returns: Mark 10.
how to get along with fellowmen: Romans 12.
for great invention/opportunity: Isaiah 55.
for Paul's secret to happiness: Colossians 3:12-17.
for the idea of Christianity: 1 Corinthians 5:15-19.
if you are depressed: Psalms 27.
if you want to be fruitful: John 15.
if your pocketbook is empty: Psalm 37.
if you're losing your confidence in people: 1 Corinthians 13.
if people seem unkind: John 15.
if you're discouraged about your work: Psalm 126.
if you find the world growing small and you great: Psalm 19.
fasting can help re-kindle our gratitude for all that we have been given.
today, i am fasting for something very, very near and dear to my heart.
and it's hard. fasting is hard, especially because i have only recently been able to eat again. but there is a sort of... love it shows, i think. this is not doctrine, but i believe that when we go to the Lord, in prayer, not being bogged down by the weight of worldly things, such as food, we are able to more fully commune with our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. i know without a shadow of a doubt in my mind that the Savior loves me, that He went to the Garden of Gethsemane for me, and He sweat drops of blood from every pore for me, and He suffered pains that i can't even imagine for me, and He died on the cross of Calvary for me, so that i could be able to go back and live with Him and my God, and if that doesn't show pure Love, i don't know what does.
so, if He can do that for me, i can go 24 hours without food in an attempt to become closer to Him, and for my supplications to be backed up with that act of determination. i can do this.
and it's hard. fasting is hard, especially because i have only recently been able to eat again. but there is a sort of... love it shows, i think. this is not doctrine, but i believe that when we go to the Lord, in prayer, not being bogged down by the weight of worldly things, such as food, we are able to more fully commune with our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. i know without a shadow of a doubt in my mind that the Savior loves me, that He went to the Garden of Gethsemane for me, and He sweat drops of blood from every pore for me, and He suffered pains that i can't even imagine for me, and He died on the cross of Calvary for me, so that i could be able to go back and live with Him and my God, and if that doesn't show pure Love, i don't know what does.
so, if He can do that for me, i can go 24 hours without food in an attempt to become closer to Him, and for my supplications to be backed up with that act of determination. i can do this.
Saturday, April 14, 2012
you're still you and i'm still me.
Never late
Always waiting
Watch me dress
I'm complaining
You say "Baby, you are crazy, look amazing"
At seventeen the world still seems like it's so small
For knowing nothing I sure thought I knew it all
And no one really knows exactly what forever means
And it's law that no one sees it's real until it's gone
But I found forever out on the basketball court
And I thought never I'd look out and not see you waiting on my driveway anymore
Never late
Always waiting
Watch me dress
I'm complaining
You say "Baby, you are crazy, look amazing"
And I remember you picked me up from work
You helped me pack laid it on the floor
I never saw you coming, funny how time flies
Six months felt like a whole lifetime
And it feels like a lifetime ago
Oh, you're still ___ and I'm still Meghan
And you still saved me
You're like winter, I'm like summer
You're collected well, I'm completely off the wall
You're a walker, I'm a runner
And it's perfect you're the one for which I'd risk the fall
I've never stared so intently without anything to say
Yeah, we always had those moments
And looking back now it sounds so cliche
But this was supposed to be forever
Have we lost it?
Never late
Always waiting
Watch me dress
I'm complaining
You say "Baby, you are crazy, look amazing"
And I remember having dinner
Never quite won over with your mother
But I never doubted you
And it was just young love, that's what they all say
But you were my one love that never went away
You're still ___ and I'm still Meghan
And you still saved me
And it's just an old T-shirt
But when I put it on I feel wrapped up in you
And I've been loved and I've been hurt
But at the daybreak no one gets to me
No one gets to me like you do
I remember it was homecoming
We would have stayed 'til we saw sunlight
Once again we got the spotlight
And making wishes I still think about it all the time
This was supposed to be a lifetime
Never late
Always waiting
Watch me dress
I'm complaining
You say "Baby, you are crazy, look amazing"
And I remember our first big fight
Ended up being our first time
In summer all those late night drives
And it was just young love, that's what they all say
But you were my one love that never went away
You're still ___ and I'm still Meghan
You're still you and I'm still me
And you still saved me
Always waiting
Watch me dress
I'm complaining
You say "Baby, you are crazy, look amazing"
At seventeen the world still seems like it's so small
For knowing nothing I sure thought I knew it all
And no one really knows exactly what forever means
And it's law that no one sees it's real until it's gone
But I found forever out on the basketball court
And I thought never I'd look out and not see you waiting on my driveway anymore
Never late
Always waiting
Watch me dress
I'm complaining
You say "Baby, you are crazy, look amazing"
And I remember you picked me up from work
You helped me pack laid it on the floor
I never saw you coming, funny how time flies
Six months felt like a whole lifetime
And it feels like a lifetime ago
Oh, you're still ___ and I'm still Meghan
And you still saved me
You're like winter, I'm like summer
You're collected well, I'm completely off the wall
You're a walker, I'm a runner
And it's perfect you're the one for which I'd risk the fall
I've never stared so intently without anything to say
Yeah, we always had those moments
And looking back now it sounds so cliche
But this was supposed to be forever
Have we lost it?
Never late
Always waiting
Watch me dress
I'm complaining
You say "Baby, you are crazy, look amazing"
And I remember having dinner
Never quite won over with your mother
But I never doubted you
And it was just young love, that's what they all say
But you were my one love that never went away
You're still ___ and I'm still Meghan
And you still saved me
And it's just an old T-shirt
But when I put it on I feel wrapped up in you
And I've been loved and I've been hurt
But at the daybreak no one gets to me
No one gets to me like you do
I remember it was homecoming
We would have stayed 'til we saw sunlight
Once again we got the spotlight
And making wishes I still think about it all the time
This was supposed to be a lifetime
Never late
Always waiting
Watch me dress
I'm complaining
You say "Baby, you are crazy, look amazing"
And I remember our first big fight
Ended up being our first time
In summer all those late night drives
And it was just young love, that's what they all say
But you were my one love that never went away
You're still ___ and I'm still Meghan
You're still you and I'm still me
And you still saved me
worth fighting for.
The sky is turning golden now.
Wish you were with me, now.
My body aches for you.
Feels empty since you left
Is anybody left, that isn’t broken?
shattered, confused.
It’s not that i don’t understand your side
it’s just hard to contemplate
why a love this deep goes unanswered
i’m going places in this life
and i want you by my side
do you remember that night
as you tell me good bye
i see that look in your eyes
i never wanted you to break down
we found real love in this cold world
isn’t that what life’s is about
We can get away from this town
i know exactly how i hurt you,
there’s nothing left but the truth
we can change this life
one step at a time
i know there’s so much more
isn’t that worth fighting for
it’s been so long im growing.
we’ve lost the only one who can fix me,
now it’s me who’s breaking down.
i know you see me broken
but there’s so much unspoken
please give us hope.
because i’ll never let you go.
it’s not that i’m forgiving myself.
it’s just i’m going through hell.
to try and think of words to save me.
it’s not so much i am missing you.
it’s more like i’m so lost without you.
i give anything for you to just take me.
as you tell me good bye
i see that look in your eyes
i never wanted you to break down
we found real love in this cold world
isn't that what life is about
we can get away from this town
i know exactly how i hurt you,
theres nothing left but the truth
we can change this life
one step at a time.
i know theres so much more
isnt that worth fighting for
Honestly tell when you look at me
And dont remember everything
Youre scared and that’s okay
Ill show you there’s a way
For us to truly be something happy
as you tell me good bye
i see that look in your eyes
i never wanted you to break down
we found real love in this cold world
isn't that what life is about
we get away from this town?
i know exactly how i hurt you,
theres nothing left but the truth
we can change this life
once upon a time.
i know theres so much more
isnt that worth fighting for
Wish you were with me, now.
My body aches for you.
Feels empty since you left
Is anybody left, that isn’t broken?
shattered, confused.
It’s not that i don’t understand your side
it’s just hard to contemplate
why a love this deep goes unanswered
i’m going places in this life
and i want you by my side
do you remember that night
as you tell me good bye
i see that look in your eyes
i never wanted you to break down
we found real love in this cold world
isn’t that what life’s is about
We can get away from this town
i know exactly how i hurt you,
there’s nothing left but the truth
we can change this life
one step at a time
i know there’s so much more
isn’t that worth fighting for
it’s been so long im growing.
we’ve lost the only one who can fix me,
now it’s me who’s breaking down.
i know you see me broken
but there’s so much unspoken
please give us hope.
because i’ll never let you go.
it’s not that i’m forgiving myself.
it’s just i’m going through hell.
to try and think of words to save me.
it’s not so much i am missing you.
it’s more like i’m so lost without you.
i give anything for you to just take me.
as you tell me good bye
i see that look in your eyes
i never wanted you to break down
we found real love in this cold world
isn't that what life is about
we can get away from this town
i know exactly how i hurt you,
theres nothing left but the truth
we can change this life
one step at a time.
i know theres so much more
isnt that worth fighting for
Honestly tell when you look at me
And dont remember everything
Youre scared and that’s okay
Ill show you there’s a way
For us to truly be something happy
as you tell me good bye
i see that look in your eyes
i never wanted you to break down
we found real love in this cold world
isn't that what life is about
we get away from this town?
i know exactly how i hurt you,
theres nothing left but the truth
we can change this life
once upon a time.
i know theres so much more
isnt that worth fighting for
because of you.
Before you it's been awhile before I slipped up
Before you I never thought to give a fuck
Before you I was satisfied on my own
Before you I never let myself go
Before this I was always on the wrong side
Before this I was always bad at hanging onto pride
But before this I was professional about how to hide
What was goin on on the inside
And before you I was so content
Yeah before you I was unaware of it
I was unaware of my loneliness
Now because of you, I remember why I have no self respect
Because of you, I remember why I always felt hopeless
I remember why my perception of love was demented
I remember why I'm such a mess, why I'm such a mess
Because of you, I remember why I was satisfied with lust
Because of you, I remember why I will never truly trust
Before you there were more yous and I know now why I will never expect much
Thought I forgot, but thanks a lot, cause now because of you
I remember why I don't love, I remember why I don't love.
Before you I had control of this
Before you I never let my heart win
Before you I was on my way to freedom
Before you I never let myself give in
To the disappointment of unrequited love
To the mislead illusion of mutual trust
I was unaware of how bad love was
Now because of you, I remember why I have no self respect
Because of you, I remember why I always felt hopeless
I remember why my perception of love was demented
I remember why I'm such a mess, why I'm such a mess
Because of you, I remember why I was satisfied with lust
Because of you, I remember why I will never truly trust
Before you there were more yous and I know now why I will never expect much
Thought I forgot, but thanks a lot, cause now because of you
I remember why I don't love, I remember why I don't love.
When somebody walks away
And you feel replaced
Left with your own embrace
A part of you gives up hope
Once you let it go
You never wanna go
Back again
I look at you and I see him
All over again
And because of him, I lost all my self respect
Because of him, I was always left hopeless
Because of him, my perception of love is demented
I remember why I'm such a mess, why I'm such a mess
And because of you, I remember why I'm satisfied with lust
Because of you, I remember why I will never truly trust
Before you there were more yous and I know now why I will never expect much
I thought I forgot, but thanks a lot, cause now because of you
I remember why I don't love, I remember why I don't love.
Before you I never thought to give a fuck
Before you I was satisfied on my own
Before you I never let myself go
Before this I was always on the wrong side
Before this I was always bad at hanging onto pride
But before this I was professional about how to hide
What was goin on on the inside
And before you I was so content
Yeah before you I was unaware of it
I was unaware of my loneliness
Now because of you, I remember why I have no self respect
Because of you, I remember why I always felt hopeless
I remember why my perception of love was demented
I remember why I'm such a mess, why I'm such a mess
Because of you, I remember why I was satisfied with lust
Because of you, I remember why I will never truly trust
Before you there were more yous and I know now why I will never expect much
Thought I forgot, but thanks a lot, cause now because of you
I remember why I don't love, I remember why I don't love.
Before you I had control of this
Before you I never let my heart win
Before you I was on my way to freedom
Before you I never let myself give in
To the disappointment of unrequited love
To the mislead illusion of mutual trust
I was unaware of how bad love was
Now because of you, I remember why I have no self respect
Because of you, I remember why I always felt hopeless
I remember why my perception of love was demented
I remember why I'm such a mess, why I'm such a mess
Because of you, I remember why I was satisfied with lust
Because of you, I remember why I will never truly trust
Before you there were more yous and I know now why I will never expect much
Thought I forgot, but thanks a lot, cause now because of you
I remember why I don't love, I remember why I don't love.
When somebody walks away
And you feel replaced
Left with your own embrace
A part of you gives up hope
Once you let it go
You never wanna go
Back again
I look at you and I see him
All over again
And because of him, I lost all my self respect
Because of him, I was always left hopeless
Because of him, my perception of love is demented
I remember why I'm such a mess, why I'm such a mess
And because of you, I remember why I'm satisfied with lust
Because of you, I remember why I will never truly trust
Before you there were more yous and I know now why I will never expect much
I thought I forgot, but thanks a lot, cause now because of you
I remember why I don't love, I remember why I don't love.
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