you interrupt my sleep, i'll interrupt your breathing.

i have had a hard time sleeping recently.
actually, i've had a hard time doing mostly everything.
i have eaten approximately 3089 calories in the past 6 days. 
yeah that's not good, in case you were wondering.
and everything i eat i throw up. so i'm dying. 
i'm so close to giving up. it's not worth it eating if i'm just going to throw it up. 
my body is on strike and it's winning. 
i've dropped another 3 pounds this week, bringing my grand total to ...
drum roll please.
112 pounds. 
i'm 5'7". 
that's not cool.
and then, today, to top of everything today, i had just gotten out of the hospital and we went to the pharmacy to pick up my drugs(: (: but we were waiting in line and this girl came up to me and told me she was so jealous of how small i was and that she wishes she could be as skinny and beautiful as i am. i wanted to die. right there. i explained that i was sick, and that i was not healthy and that she shouldn't want to be like me, because she was beautiful just the way she was. she sort of rolled her eyes and walked away. oh, did i mention she was like.. 12? tops. i wanted to die. no joke.
i'm concerned for our society. when people start being jealous of sick girls, that's when you know there's a problem. 
and, here i am, deteriorating before my eyes, trying to figure out what the heck is wrong with me (something about mind-body connection maybe??), and little girls are jealous of how small i am. that makes me feel horrible. 


my stupid rant about society over, i haven't slept for more than an hour at a time in like.. a week. i can't sleep. i have nightmares and it's not good. so, i have a sign on my door that says, "dear parents/brothers/kidnappers/rapists/other-human-beings-or-aliens-or-animals-or-object-living-or-dead, you interrupt my sleep, i'll interrupt your breathing. thank you. love meghan. ps. if it's time for school, i'm not going. i hate people and don't want to see anyone today. thank you for your understanding." it's done pretty well at keeping people out and away from waking me up. although i seem to be doing a good job at waking myself up.