it's really better this way.

i have officially lost everyone in my life.
even myself.


you hate me?
oh, okay.
i hate me too.


i hate me,
so i put on the big baggy sweatshirt,
you know,
to cover the cuts and bruises.
cover the fact that i've lost a lot of weight.
i wear 6 layers because i'm cold.
because i haven't eaten anything in 4 days.
to cover the hatred i have for myself.
for my body.
but wearing a big sweatshirt doesn't cover what i really hate.
doesn't cover the fact that i have ruined everything.
doesn't cover the fact that i can't stop thinking about him.
doesn't cover the fact that i hate who i am.
doesn't cover the fact that i have lied to the only person i've ever truly loved.
doesn't cover the fact that i ruined everything..


it also doesn't cover the fact that i could have saved her...