lately, it's occurred to me just how strange a journey it has been...

of the few people who know my current religious views, there are 3 categories. 1. those who helped me through the journey (mostly people i don't talk to anymore. some, those who will never leave.) 2. those who are completely understanding of my situation, who only want me to be happy. and 3. those who have made it their mission to convert me back to mormonism (it's not going to happen, just so everyone is aware). 
i had an interesting conversation with one of my new nurses today. she asked me why i had decided to leave the LDS faith. i explained that, through personal experiences i really don't share with many people, i came to the realization that i needed something the LDS church wasn't giving me. i needed the love of a God who is ALWAYS going to be there for me, who will ALWAYS love me, and who will reveal things to me personally. there were also some other experiences that don't fit into the LDS belief system. she asked me if i became the missionary project of my neighbors and schoolmates. and i explained that of course i was. i knew i would be as soon as i made the decision. it has been difficult to stand up for what i believe when people are answering questions i don't know the answer to, and pointing out the fact that if i don't know the answer it must be wrong. well, it's not wrong. i believe what i believe and i love who i am and where i'm at right now. no, i don't know everything. hell, i've only believed what i do for 8 months. i'm still a baby. and i spent a few months wandering aimlessly, because i didn't know where to go. i'm still learning, just like everyone is. 
people have said, "well, i hope you find it in you to get over yourself and just do what you've always done." and to that, i say, "God bless." and walk away.
i believe in a loving God who is there for us whenever we go to Him in prayer.
i believe in a Savior, who died for me on the cross of Calvary because He loved me enough to want me to live again.
i believe that every answer to our questions in life can be found in the pages of the Holy Bible, and that is my strength.
i believe that, because we are human, we are bound to make mistakes, but that, through our Savior, we can be saved.
i believe what i believe because it works for me. i have dedicated my life to Jesus and if you have a problem with that, i pray that your heart may be softened so that, when the time comes, you might be open to my message of salvation and happiness, and that you might find the happiness i have found.