turning it all over

yesterday, 
Tuesday November 8, 2011,
was a monumental day for me.
it was the day everything changed.
the day i will probably remember for the rest of my life,
although it seems like quite a few days with Roy have been as such.


let me just tell you about my day. 
started with crying.
ended with happiness.
it was an awe-inspiring day.


last night,
i turned it over to God.
everything.
i let Jesus into my life and he took my stress.
it was the most amazing thing to think that i didn't have to be alone anymore.


yesterday, quite honestly, sucked balls.
roy told me he was sincerely and legitimately going to break up with me.
i was tired of being sick.
i was tired of being tired.
i was just tired.
i was stressed out of my ears.
i found out i lost my full-ride scholarship. ((stupid 29...))
i was betrayed by my best friend.
i was missing my grandma so much.
i was just really upset about my life...


i was just overwhelmed.


but, i was crying, roy was standing in the cold, trying his best to comfort me.
((i love him so much. he always tries to help))
but i was freaking out.
i didn't think anything was going to help and i was done.
i was legitimately done. 
robitussin night was in the making for meghan.
but, then..
roy asked me "have you prayed?"
ummm, of course i've prayed. 
i always pray.
everyday.
twice.
more than that.
but he asked me if i've given it all the Jesus.
i was a little confused,
but i went with it.
i tried. 
and it was hard and a little weird in the beginning.
but i kept trying.
roy said it would help and so i wanted to believe him.
so i kept going.
and going.
and going.
and it got so easy.
i was talking to my best friend. 
my Savior.
the only person who knows exactly what i'm going through.
and let me tell you.
He's there.
you pray to Him, give Him everything, and He'll help.
i promise.
He'll give you comfort.
He'll give you strength.
He'll help you through anything you're going through.
i learned that for myself,
in 30 degree weather,
sitting in my cold car,
in Pleasant Grove,
with the love of my life.
i gave my life to Jesus
and i've never felt better.
ever.
i'm happy because i feel happy,
not because anyone else makes me feel happy.
i feel at peace.
something i haven't felt in a long time.
i woke up this morning and i felt like i could conquer the world.
i felt great.
and i started to freak out and all i thought was "oh my. i can do this. i know how to fix it:)"
i dropped to my knees and gave it to Jesus. 
every little thing i was struggling with,
gave it to Him.
and He took it.
He gave me strength. 
and i learned He will help me through anything. 
as says this poem, one of my favorites,
God hath not promised,
skies always blue,
flower-strewn pathways
all your life through.
God hath not promised 
sun without rain, 
joy without sorrow,
peace without pain.
But God hath promised
strength for the day,
rest for the labor,
light for the day,
Grace for the trials,
help from above,
unfailing sympathy,
undying love.