do you feel?

I can't help it
I got too many issues I own
So I cannot help I'm afraid, yeah
But keep on preaching, preaching and heal the world
Lip service makes us look great

Do you feel
The weight of the world singing sorrow
Or to you is it just not real
Cause you got your own things
Yeah we all have our things I guess

 

these past few weeks... umm, well, they haven't been so great. not gonna lie to you. from stupid rumors, friend issues, health stuff, all around suckiness? oh yeah. and the next 6 weeks of my life are going to be hell. yeah. here is the story of my life from now until June 7, k?

4/22/11:

7:30: Leave for BYU.

1:00: Return from BYU.

1-5: AP Biology Review.

5-... whenver i drop, cleaning, running my brothers around, etc. basically whatever my little brothers need, and my parents don't want to do.

4/23/11:

8-9:45: AP Biology Review

10-12: Stake Youth Choir Practice

1:45: Stake President interview:/

3ish?: help Ky with her hair for prom.

4/25-4/29: CRTs.

4/26/11: MUN. i have to be at the school at 6:30... AM. sucks yeah?

5/2-5/6: Hardcore AP test prep...

5/9: AP Biology test. ugghhh.

5/10: AP US Government Test.

5/11: AP Spanish Test

5/19: AP US History Test.

5/23-6/1: hardcore finals prep.

6/2-6/7: finals.

after that, nail school, cosmetology school, hopefully a little sleep. gah. my life...

now, for my vent of the day. starting with some more song lyrics.

from Perfect by Simple Plan.

I try not to think
About the pain I feel inside
Did you know you used to be my hero?
All the days you spent with me
Now seem so far away
And it feels like you don't care anymore

And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't stand another fight
And nothing's alright

i've been all around having feelings of inadequecy. i'm not the perfect child everyone thinks i should be. but here's what i do know without a doubt.

i am meghan lanae carpenter.

i am not perfect.

i am a daughter of God, who loves me.

i was atoned for by a loving older brother.

i will be accountable for my choices.

i try to be a good friend.

it doesn't always work.

i am a loved member of my family.

i am not worthless...

please don't turn your back... you just don't understand.