AHHHH!!! (:

i made it! i made into National American Miss!!! ahhh!!! (: soooo excited.(: pageant weekend: june 29 and 30. i cannnnnoooottt wait.(:

i love my sisters.(:

no, i don't have real sisters. no biological sisters. but i have 2 of the best adopted sisters ever.(: and i love them.


kenna + meghan + dante = bffs.(:

life is about facing your fears.

tonight, i conquered a HUGE fear of mine.
i had an open call for a pageant i'm doing.
i know. crazy meghan. doing pageants again.. this one is different though. it's all about being confident and stuff.
national american miss.(: look it up.
anyways, we had an interview tonight. it was so wonderful. i love expanding my bubble and improving my confidence. i also made a few friends.
we'll find out this week if i got accepted. cross your fingers for me everyone!(: 


not bad for having surgery yesterday, eh?(:

i gotta get out of bed.

but my tummy hurts.
stupid surgery.
i hate you.
the end.

requesting God’s help, recognizing our frailty, and realizing that prayer is a powerful way to change our circumstances releases us from being overwhelmed by our fears, worries, and cares. it’s a spiritual way of stepping back from the problem and letting God step in to help us. we allow God to be God and we permit ourselves to be His children.

i like drugs.

fortunately, they're all legal. but i need them... yay for lortab... i hate surgery. jussayin'.
but doctors said everything went pretty well. no real problems. i woke up to my mom, dad, brothers, grandparents, aunt, and 3 cousins all crammed into the smallest hospital room ever. but i got balloons and flowers from people in my ward, and my aunt and uncle in texas, and my aunt and uncle in north carolina. as soon as i'm not shaking anymore i'll write them all thank you notes. 
i also found out my cousin stole my phone and tried to text her love, aka. my ex-boyfriend, while i was in surgery. he never texted her back though, and she cried. haha they're so cute, my cousins. my littlest one didn't stop holding my hand until i woke up. she told her mom that i wouldn't wake up okay if she didn't. turns out, she had a dream i didn't and she woke up crying. i love my cousins. 
now, for the longest end of a spring break ever. hopefully this thing helps me feel better. cross your fingers. prayers would be great. thank you all so much for everything you do for me.(:


ps. maybe i should tell my boyfriend i had surgery... he doesn't know... i'm a horrible girlfriend. i know.

smile. show the world that, today, you are a little bit stronger than you were before.

we got a call at about 3 o'clock this morning... haha woke everyone up. but it was aunt who lives in texas. my first thought? tornadoes took out her house. ((it's tornado season and they've already had 12 touch down in the last week.)) but they were okay. she works at an experimental hospital. we've been working relatively close with them for a while now, about one of my health problems. we actually, for my senior trip, are going to russia to work with the international branch of this company to try an experimental procedure. 
you see, after about 2 and a half years of not being able to eat much of anything, tests, tests, tests and more tests, 3 scopes ((one of which did not end well. the other, i ate an orange right after... so much pain in gandolofo's lobby because my boyfriend wouldn't let me go home alone. awww.)), enough different solutions to drip, drip my blood into to make even a sick person feel sick, and about 12 different specialists doctors all across the country, thank heavens for insurance, someone finally did the right test, dripped my blood into the right sticky stuff, and voila. the prognosis: gastroparesis. basically, my vagus nerve is dead, probably from one of two things: when they took out my gallbladder, they cut the wrong vein thing and damaged the nerve. or, when i broke my tailbone, i damaged the nerve. either way, i have a damaged vagus nerve. that nerve controls basically how the digestive system works. how your stomach expands and contracts. how your intestines moved food through your bowel, etc. so, my stomach doesn't move the food along, it just sits there. gross huh. that's why i throw up and am sick to my stomach so much.
but, anyways, the company my aunt works for is doing an experimental test to try to correct gastroparesis. basically it's a pace maker for that nerve. it sends little shocks to make your stomach contract the way it should. i'm one of the first people in utah to be getting it, but i'm excited to see if it works. anything will be better than this. jussayin'. 
my grandma is so cute. she decided we're going to trafalga today. because it's my last day of spring break, cause i get surgery tomorrow. so, me, and my little cousins, are going to trafalga.(: i can't wait. i love my cousins. and they're just what i need right now. 3 of the cutest, sweetest, most peppy, confident little children i have ever met.(: i love them.
oh, they're still arguing over my ex-boyfriend. jessica pulled taylor's hair over it yesterday. haha i think it's cute that my 7, 9 and 11 year old cousins are fighting over my 18 year old ex-boyfriend. how cute are they? (: the cutest. haha