school:the.9th.circle.of.hell

Um, thank you. I'm not much for public speaking. Or much for speaking. Or, come to think of it, much for the public. And I'm not very good at lying. So let me just say that, in my experience, high school sucks. If I had to do it all over again, I'd have started advanced placement classes in preschool so I could go from eighth grade straight to college. However, given the unalterable fact that high school sucks, I'd like to add that if you're lucky enough to have a good friend and a family that cares it doesn't have to suck quite as much. Otherwise my advice is; Stand firm for what you believe in, until and unless experience proves you wrong. Remember, when the emperor looks naked, the emperor IS naked. The truth and a lie are not sort of the same thing. And there is no aspect, no facet, no moment of life that can't be improved with pizza. Thank you

my future valedictorian address. that is all.

well, i was sitting at my desk doing my piles of makeup work and quite frankly, dying a little inside. missing 11 days of school in 3rd term is NOT a good idea, and i thought, "hey. i haven't blogged in a while. so that's what i'll do". and i did. i turned on my computer and i am now blogging :] well, tomorrow is the end of the worst term of my entire life. 3rd term, junior year sucks. it's like i have junioritus: the insatiable need and want to be a senior. it's great. not.

well, life has been way interesting. probably too interesting to be good. let me tell you. i can't even tell you what a typical day has been, cause there hasn't been a "typical" day. some days look like this:

5:45: wake up.

5:47: go back to sleep.

6:45: "meghan get up! you're driving carpool today!"

6:51: start my car. scrape ice (probably my LEAST favorite thing to do in my whole life)

6:55: pick up sara and james.

7:17: arrive at school.

7:20: go to math room to complete last night's homework.

7:30-3:10: school. complete with stupid drama, idiotic boys, a few tears, way too much boring-ness, texting the only person keeping me sane, being awesome.

3:15: text sent to like... 5 people: "need a ride home today?" most of the time answer: "no"

3:35: leave school, because i am awesome and our parking lot SUCKS during peak carpool hours.

4:05: arrive home.

4:10-3:30: homework.

3:30-5:45: sleep

repeat.

somedays it looks like this, and meghan is happy :]

5:45: wake up.

5:47: go back to sleep.

6:45: be all ready to go, my hair actually straightened, makeup, not wrinkly clothes, breakfast, actually looking like a girl and presentable.

6:50: start my car. no ice to scrape :]

6:55: pick up sara and james.

7:17: arrive at school.

7:20: go to math room to complete last night's homework.

7:30-3:10: school. complete with stupid drama, idiotic boys, a few tears, way too much boring-ness, texting the only person keeping me sane, being awesome.

3:15: text sent to like... 5 people: "need a ride home today?" most of the time answer: "no"

3:35: leave school, because i am awesome and our parking lot SUCKS during peak carpool hours.

4:05: arrive home.

4:10-9:00: hang out with friends. go on random crazy adventures of chandler and meghan. frolic. etc. 

9:05-3:30: homework.

3:35-5:45: sleep.

yes. not much changes. but those little changes make life worth it. :]

but i love my school. kind of alot.

and now, since my life isn't amazing enough, i was picked to do MUN, Model United Nations, this year. it's going to be really great, and my partner and i are going to rock it up, and i'm really excited. we are doing the legal council and our country is Austria, and i'm a little excited. :]

on saturday i went to AF's prom. it was really fun. :] i made alot of new friends, and saw alot of people i don't get to see often, because of school and going to a charter school and other awesome things. :]

but yeah. basically school rules my life. it's kind of great. right now, and the end of the term is tomorrow, my grades look like this:

Math: B+ 88%

AP Biology: C- 66% (that will be changed! marshall... grrr...)

TA: A 100%

Seminary: A (not really a percent :))

AP US Government: A 105%

US History: A 108%

Language Arts: A 104%

History: A 99%

i.love.life. sometimes, my crazy effort on school actually shows. except my math grade is TICKING ME OFF. alot.

but next year, i'm going to beauty school! concurrently with snior year, the tution is waived. which is the best thing ever. so instead of $5,000, i only have to pay the $2,000 for my kit, and boom. i'll have a good job to get me through college :]

well, this post is way longer than i had planned. i needs to be makin' up more work. but just thought i'd check in on y'all :]

i heart ya!!! :]

<3 love <3 , me :]

second.chances

See, that's the thing about second chances. It's two people that are there for each other and support each other and care about each other no matter how much they want to deny it. It's about one person doing everything they can to make sure the other doesn't fall and vice-versa. Second chances are about holding on to that other persons hand no matter how hard they beg to let go.

i don't know if second chances are whats right for me, right now. i don't even really know if they even exist. but this is me, meghan carpenter, down on my knees, begging for a second chance. and i don't like feeling so vulnerable. i hate it, quite frankly. but if that's what it takes, i'm doing it. i'm going to do anything and everything i can to get you back. i love you, and it's killing me. you're slowly ripping out my insides and i don't know what to do about it.

this week.... the only thing i can say to describe it is hell. this week has been my very own, personal hell. but what makes it so much worse is knowing that i did this to myself. i let all the stupid little things he did frustrate me so much, that i lost the only thing that i really wanted. him. he who has helped me through everything. opened the door for me. carried my books. bought my roses. was the best date to any date dance ever. helped me through surgery. cared about me, genuinely, last night, when no one else knew what to do. why did i let you go......

* oh how life never ceases to amaze *

live life crazy and love every minute of it

sorry about that previous post. it's been a long couple of days. but hi. i'm meghan, and what else is new? it's okay. life is just hard and interesting sometimes. but here is my random thought of the day:

if you have the opportunity to make someone else happy, jump for it. i had the wonderful privilege of helping a dear friend during lunch today. made me happy. also, i said yes to a guy to go to prom with him, against my wishes and hopes. if that is what will make them happy, then you should be all over it. it makes you feel better. it makes them feel better. it makes everyone feel better. just do it.
love, me

falling... slowly and painfully falling.

Before I met you, I was always considered the strong one, the one who never got hurt; I could do anything and never fall. I felt like I was the epitome of invincibility; of confidence. Now you've come along, you've broken my heart, and you've shaken me from that really strong foundation that I had spent years constructing. I found out more about myself than I ever had before. I found that my foundation wasn't as strong as I thought it was -- I found that love isn't all it's cracked up to be -- and I found that this time, maybe I won't be able to get back up quite so easily
i was doing fine. i really was. but then you had to come back, asking why i did it. and i had to tell you. i had to tell you you didn't do anything. it really isn't your fault. it's mine. it's my fault i am deathly afraid of being cheated on. my fault i'm deathly afraid of being pushed into things i'm not comfortable with. my fault i don't know how to trust people. my fault i let all those little things you did bug me. it's all my fault. not of it is yours. it never was, never will be.

ummm... yeah

There's no doubt about it--breakups suck. But in the first few hours or days or weeks that follow, there's one important truth you need to recognize: Some things can't and shouldn't be fixed, especially that boy who dumped you or forced you to dump him. It's over for a reason, and deep down inside you probably know what that reason is.
ummmm.... yeah. that's all i can say.

he's just not that into you

If a dude isn't calling you when he says he will, or making sure you know that he's dating you, then you already have your answer. Stop making excuses for him; his actions are screaming the truth: he's just not that into you if he's not treating you like the princess that you are, it's time to move on and find another knight in shining armor. that is all.

trust... it's a sticky thing.

How can you expect him to totally trust you when you don't totally trust him? You have to start to learn to trust sometime or another. Why don't you start now? He won't hurt you, I believe that, but because of everything that happened, you won't let yourself believe it. And he needs to see that you believe in him and are willing to trust him before he can totally trust you. It's a confidence thing.
k, well, here's the thing. i have serious trust issues, because of thing that have happened to me in the past. well, actually, my trust issues have issues. it's kind of sad. i find it really hard to trust people, especially boys. sometimes, i make the mistake of trusting someone too much too early, or not early enough. i have ruined alot of potential friendships that way, but i can't really do anything about it. i have had a rough time with boys and i don't like trusting them, because i have gotten hurt by them. so, if anyone reading this blog was my friend, or is my friend, and you feel like i don't trust you, that's because i don't. but that's not your fault, and i'm sorry. i really am working on it... i really am...